The Art of Chat

A free-spirited young woman from the Pacific North West made her way to the East Coast and has recently settled in to life as a NewYorker. The formative years of her early twenties were shared with me in an unfortunate area of the nation where humidity reigns supreme and all things known as truths by blue-staters are proven false. This place is known to most as Houston, to us it is H-town and mention of such tends to send shivers down our respective spines and knowing glances of terror across wine glasses.

Together we navigated the unfamiliar terrain of urban classrooms, negotiations between our perfectionist inclinations with adequate amounts of sleep, Bad Men and the Bad Ways we viewed ourselves as a result of them, and the growing pains of early adulthood. Our shared experiences have bound us eternally; a tie that is reinforced by similar views on the world and our roles therein, a passion for dancing and a deep understanding of our respective pasts and their influence on our present. The only problem with our friendship is we can never, EVER find a time to talk. The 'chat' has become the new holy grail of women in their late 20s who are not lucky enough to live in the same city.

This issue tends to be endemic to ambitious females that are still trying to navigate their career path- the planning of countless times to connect, accompanied by the inability to be present on both ends of the phone. We long to connect and recount our day to day activities but find ourselves summarizing our past 4 months of Job, Life and Family into emails and g-chats. The downfall of being of the generation of women who are finally able to carve our own path without the pressure of early childbearing is that we are not privileged with the natural female community that forms around such life accomplishments. The fabulous females with whom my life has been blessed are each well accomplished in their own right; self-defined and self-sufficient. Yet our personal selves are not as nourished by each other due to the busy-ness necessary to maintain such a lifestyle as a socially committed individual. It is the connections that we most desire that are the most difficult to maintain as job and professional circle time take precedence. Perhaps as we enter into our 30s and beyond we will find ourselves more connected; maybe we can figure out a way to attain the holy grail without losing ourselves.