Toward the end of the work day today, I had a Very Upsetting Conversation with a constituent. Said constituent, herein classified via the name ASS, is one of many in the past few months that called to lodge a complaint regarding the recent budget cuts. What is to follow is a 3rd person narrative account of my conversation with ASS, as told from the omniscient point of view of blogger and blogger's inside voice (BIV, not to be confused with the middle guy from Bel Biv Devoe (now you know, yo slick...blow)).
ASS: I am a concerned parent that has a budget question, could you help me with that?
Blogger: You bet.
ASS: I'm concerned with the two budget line items that pertain to Gay and Lesbian youth funding.
B: What's your concern?
ASS: They were not cut enough while other, important, meaningful, parent-supported programs were cut.
BIV: deep breath, he just needs to get it off his chest. inhale, exhale. repeat.
B: The LGBT programs were cut, in concert with all the other cuts. Nothing was held harmless.
ASS: All I'm saying is that if you have to make more cuts you should cut both programs entirely. Do you know what they are teaching my kid at school?
BIV: Um, tolerance and multi-lateralism? Loving oneself just as you are? Caring more about who a person is than his/her sexual orientation?
ASS:...They are teaching him about transgender rights! My god, (BIV: clearly NOT the same god as mine) it is just a dishonor to our children.
B: Ok, sir. I appreciate your interest in youth development.
ASS: Who makes the decisions about what gets cut?
B: The governor has the final say, as per constitutional mandate.
ASS: Well, you know the governor, he's no use. He's in with those people and needs them and all that but us normal parents, we would be very happy if all the funding were to be cut....
BIV: I want to reach through the phone and strangle your ignorant throat. But then I will seem like an angry lesbian, of which I am neither, and we will get nowhere, so I will just sit this one out and let you go wallow in your hatred.
ASS:...and that gay and lesbian suicide prevention program? That is just a poor use of money, so loosely defined...
BIV: hmm. Sounds pretty well defined to me
ASS: And I can tell you understand where I'm coming from...
BIV: huh?
B: Well sir, the governor is my boss and I serve at his pleasure. I agree with his platform and can assure you...
ASS: OH. So you're one of them. Well I guess he needs people like you to work for him, when no one else agrees with him.
B: Erm, ok. (BIV: You are the weakest link) Good bye.
And here I am, dear readers, more sad than irate. Trying to understand why people are so afraid and angry about gay rights. Hoping in this effort I can find some common ground in our humanity. But I can't. I am right and ASS and his other asshole parent friends are wrong; I only hope that they don't turn their children into little assholes.
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