Three Hail Mary's and a whole lot of Lost Faith

A couple of years ago, before my parents mercifully divorced, my sister caught my mother stealing beautiful flowers off of a lovely shrub in bloom near a head stone in a nearby cemetery.** Now, I pick and choose my battles with my crazy maternal DNA source, but this was beyond anything that I could tolerate under the 'she is just a walking contradiction' coping mechanism I've developed over the years. When she walked in the door to our home, I inquired, bluntly: "Did you or did you NOT steal flowers from someone's grave?"

She responded with, "You are so angry. You have an anger problem."

"No, I'm not angry. I'm more shocked that you would do that. But you haven't answered my original question. Did you or did you not steal from a GRAVEYARD???"

And while still holding the flowers in question, she countered with, "I pray for you. I will pray for your anger problem."

And that was the moment. It was THEN that I went from being someone who had 'grown up Catholic' to being a 'recovering Catholic'. The idea that actions did not matter, that a set of beads and a few minutes spent confessing without having to even LOOK THE PRIEST IN THE EYE was more important than how one lives her life pushed me OVER THE EDGE.

I've always had a difficult relationship with the religion of my childhood- their staunch views on women and gays run completely counter to that which I have faith is The Truth. The commitment to service, creed of kindness to others and love of humanity, however, are all things that I can get on board with. Throughout my adult life, I've considered returning to the church many times; Life's Lows have made me crave a sense of community and spiritual connectedness that the services offer. Recent moves by the Catholic Church have pushed me back in the direction of seeking spiritual alternatives.

Rather than focusing on the needs of the working poor and individuals needing to know they are worthy of love, the Pope and his faithful are focused upon welcoming Anglicans that can't handle the church's new open-arms policy towards all people, regardless of their sexuality or gender. Why are Catholics so damn afraid of us women? We really are quite great if you get to know us. Congressman Patrick Kennedy, still reeling from the very public loss of his esteemed father, is being raked over the alter coals for his political stance on women's health and abortion rights. There are SO many more important battles that the church could and should pick- health disparities among the poor and reforms that could boldly ameliorate them- but they choose anger and disparagement.

We young, progressive types want community as much as conservative, old-school types (some may call them misogynist homophobes, but I do really love some of these types so I'll refrain from big generalizations-- for now). The Catholic Church, however, is not a comfortable place for us to go-regardless of how fantastic the Jesuit strain of Catholicism may be.

Flying Spaghetti Monster it is.

**If you'd like to hear this story in full, buy me a couple of glasses of wine and something carby- it's on.