Warrior

I got sucker punched by a yogi today.  Innocuously, I wandered into the aerobics room-actively sweating from my workout on the crazy moving stairs- and was assaulted by a older woman with matching long braids on both sides of her joker-like smile.  "Are you here for yoga?," she asked in the voice of a kindergarten teacher, at the same time welcoming and condescending.  Obliged, I answered, "um, sure, I mean maybe." She immediately asked for my name, wrote it down and then set up my place for me as if to call my bluff and eliminate any indecision that remained.  I felt like any of the many kids I've seen on various sitcoms who were kind of asked to a dance then all of a sudden find themselves in taffeta and a huge carnation pinned to one of their puffy sleeves.  I was guilted into 1.5 hours of deep-breathed serenity. 

 I sprinted to the bathroom and spent the waning moments until class assuring myself that I had the stamina to last the entire class and my clothes, clearly geared towards hard-core cardio, were not going to provide a zen peep show to the guy whose mat was stationed roughly 3" from my own.  About 1/2 way through, while those around me were transcending to a higher place, I began to develop a deep resentment for the teacher, the calming music and the entire continent of Asia. 

  

I managed to sneak out with looser muscles and most of my sanity intact.  I have made a strong mental note of the time and location so as to avoid such a situation in the future. 

** It should be noted that the picture above was pulled from a website noting intermediate yoga moves.  One must wonder about the advanced moves.  My guess is that guy actually removes one of his legs and then go-go gadgets it to India.  **